Captain Morgan Original

Having humble expectations for inexpensive booze will not only improve your chances for enjoyment but may also broaden your horizons. Remember, it's just as important to know the negative characteristics of alcohol you don't like as to the positives you do like. Now don't get me wrong, I firmly believe that alcohol snobbery has its place. When your making cocktails, shopping for a $30 plus bottle of wine, appreciating a fine spirit, or searching for that perfectly balanced craft ale, you will need to occasionally flash your snob badge. I am also fully aware that there is a tolerable level of bad and some booze is undeniably undrinkable. However, if you find yourself laughing loudly with friends next to a homemade wood burning stove in Wisconsin during an epic winter, some $10 blended whiskey might be just what the doctor ordered. No, it's not artisanal and yes, you will notice flaws but if your mindful of this beforehand it wont be offensive and you might actually enjoy yourself.

Just so its crystal clear, Captain Morgan Original is not a sensational rum. It's massively overproduced, way over marketed, uses artificial flavors, and is cheaply distilled. It's also not trying to hide any of that information from you. Captain Morgan is a simple drink that knows it's place on the shelf. If are looking for a deep,complex, flavorful rum that can be sipped neat look elsewhere.

Rum is supposed to be sweet, it is after all distilled from sugar cane. Spiced rum is supposed to add a bit of vibrancy to that sweet of the natural spirit. Captain Morgan Original does succeed at this. Neat, the sweet molasses is very present with vanilla dominating the spice. Some caramel, nutmeg, and cinnamon, are also present. Unfortunately the vanilla has a funky artificial tinge and the odor of cheap alcohol kind of ruin the nose. Upon sipping, the smooth nature of the rum is present in the mouth feel with not too much oak and at only 70 proof not a lot of burn. Sadly, after gulping it down, that damn fake vanilla pops its clown face back up and overtakes much of the rest of the spice. The finish  gives a little pepper with a push of cheap alcohol. It's not undrinkable neat, but not all that enjoyable.  In order to get the Captain to truly swash-buckle, throw some rocks in your glass or some lime and Coke. It sure helped me.

With 3 ice cubes in my glass I now had a decent drink. The cold made the questionable distillation disappear and the water from the melting ice toned down the vanilla to allow the other flavors some elbow room. I don't know if I would order one in a bar but I wouldn't turn down a free Captain on the rocks. Throw some Coke in the mix with a lime wedge and you've got a simple cocktail. Nothing fancy and at $12 a bottle it does what it needs to. I'll say 3 arrr maties out of 2 1/2. Best with large groups, get your self some kettle corn and have some fun.

Capt'n & Coke

1. 3oz Captain Morgan Original
2. 7oz Coke
3. 1-2 Lime wedges

Pour Rum over lots of ice in pint glass. Pour Coke. Stir gently. Lime to taste.

cheers